How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2...and don't ask me how they got in there. (My 87 year old grandma just told me this one)

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What do you get when you cross 2 ducks and a match?

Fire Quackers

What's the rule for Twitter crushes?

So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, no light bulb dare go out in the presence of Chuck Norris.

How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, that's a Mexican's job.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How does Harry Houdini tell people to steal stuff?

Straight jack it.

What did one smell say to the odor?

You stink at telling jokes."

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many cancer patients does it take to change a light bulb?

1 and 12 people to say how inspiring it was

How many sith lords does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They like it on the dark side.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why wouldn't you ask the zebra for music advice?

Because he only knows about The White Stripes.

Who, you ask, turns the AC on during a polar vortex?

Sociopaths, fascist dictators, my boyfriend.

Mosquito Jokes More Mosquito Jokes

What do you call a mosquito sitting on your wife's cheek?

A golden opportunity

What did the neckbeard say to the mosquito?

M'laria