Mosquito Jokes

What do you call Muslims at the end of their religious service?

Mosquitoes

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What do you call a crazy guy in a room full of mosquitoes?

A bit neurotic.

What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?

You can't. A mosquito is a vector and the mountain climber is a scaler. Courtesy of my physics professor.

What happens when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector with a scaler.

What do you get when you're bitten by a mosquito wearing a fedora?

M'laria

What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito?

A mosquito can "fly", but a fly can not "mosquito".

What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector and a scalar.

How can you tell if there's a mosquito in your bed?

By the "M" on his pajamas.

How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. But I don't know how they got in there.

What do mosquitoes think of people who wear bug spray?

They are just OFF-full

What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing you can't cross a vector with a scaler.

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What do you call A Tale of Two Mosquitoes?

A bite-time story.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a rock climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.

What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly?

A: A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito.

What did the Russian athlete say when he was stung by a mosquito during the Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro?

zika blyat

What religion do mosquitoes follow?

Muslim, because they go to a mosque...ito. Sorry.

What animal gets applauded?

The mosquito.

What do you get if you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?

No one knows. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

Why are mosquitos religious ?

They prey on you !

What does mosquito say when its parents die?

shhhhhh.....it !!

What did the neckbeard say to the mosquito?

M'laria

What do you get when a mountain climber crosses a mosquito?

You can't cross a scalar and a vector.

Why did the mosquito go to the dentist ?

To improve his bite !

What fever did Joe Dirt catch on vacation after getting bit by a mosquito?

Deeeeeeeeeeengue

Why are mosquitoes annoying?

Because they get under your skin.

What do you get when you combine a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing! You can't cross scalars and vectors.

What do you call a mosquito sitting on your wife's cheek?

A golden opportunity

What is a mosquito's favourite sport ?

Skin-diving !

What did one mosquito say to another when they came out of the cinema?

Fancy a bite

What do you get when you cross a mountain-climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you can't cross a scaler with a vector.

How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2...and don't ask me how they got in there. (My 87 year old grandma just told me this one)

Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one mosquito?

Because an itch in time saves nine.

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Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him?

He stung her into action.

Who's there ! Abbey ! Abbey who ?

Abbey stung me on the nose !

Scaler Jokes More Scaler Jokes

What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing you can't cross a vector with a scaler.

What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?

You can't. A mosquito is a vector and the mountain climber is a scaler. Courtesy of my physics professor.

Mountain Climber Jokes More Mountain Climber Jokes

What did the mountain climber name his son?

Cliff.

What did the mountain climber name his son?

Cliff

End Jokes More End Jokes

What did one slice of bread say to the other at the end of a game of chess?

It's stale, mate."

When someone asks "You know what I think?

I say "Yes I do". End of discussion.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. But it takes five episodes.

How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None: Leos are so enthusiastic they carry their own light.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when a pizzaman does an AMA on Reddit?

OP delivers.

What happens when breed a shark and snowman?

You get a frostbite!

Fedora Jokes More Fedora Jokes

What do you call Dora the Explorer in an Iron Man suit?

FeDora I'll see myself out.

Why do waitresses love serving men in fedoras?

If you're nice to them, their tipping intensifies.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why did the boy peek down the toilet bowl?

He was trying to find Winnie the Pooh.

What did the scientists say when they found bones on the moon?

the cow didn't make it.