Mosquito Jokes

What do you call Muslims at the end of their religious service?

Mosquitoes

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What do you call a crazy guy in a room full of mosquitoes?

A bit neurotic.

What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?

You can't. A mosquito is a vector and the mountain climber is a scaler. Courtesy of my physics professor.

What happens when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector with a scaler.

What do you get when you're bitten by a mosquito wearing a fedora?

M'laria

What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito?

A mosquito can "fly", but a fly can not "mosquito".

What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector and a scalar.

How can you tell if there's a mosquito in your bed?

By the "M" on his pajamas.

How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. But I don't know how they got in there.

What do mosquitoes think of people who wear bug spray?

They are just OFF-full

What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing you can't cross a vector with a scaler.

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What do you call A Tale of Two Mosquitoes?

A bite-time story.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a rock climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.

What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly?

A: A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito.

What did the Russian athlete say when he was stung by a mosquito during the Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro?

zika blyat

What religion do mosquitoes follow?

Muslim, because they go to a mosque...ito. Sorry.

What animal gets applauded?

The mosquito.

What do you get if you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?

No one knows. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

Why are mosquitos religious ?

They prey on you !

What does mosquito say when its parents die?

shhhhhh.....it !!

What did the neckbeard say to the mosquito?

M'laria

What do you get when a mountain climber crosses a mosquito?

You can't cross a scalar and a vector.

Why did the mosquito go to the dentist ?

To improve his bite !

What fever did Joe Dirt catch on vacation after getting bit by a mosquito?

Deeeeeeeeeeengue

Why are mosquitoes annoying?

Because they get under your skin.

What do you get when you combine a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing! You can't cross scalars and vectors.

What do you call a mosquito sitting on your wife's cheek?

A golden opportunity

What is a mosquito's favourite sport ?

Skin-diving !

What did one mosquito say to another when they came out of the cinema?

Fancy a bite

What do you get when you cross a mountain-climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you can't cross a scaler with a vector.

How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2...and don't ask me how they got in there. (My 87 year old grandma just told me this one)

Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one mosquito?

Because an itch in time saves nine.

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Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the angry Jedi cross the road?

To get to the dark side.

Why can't Mexicans win the Olympics?

Because every one that can run, jump or swim has already crossed the border.

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

What's the difference between a girl and a washing machine?

When I dump a load into the washing machine it doesn't follow me around

What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell a rich Swiss from a poor Swiss?

The poor swiss washes his Mercedes by himself

Why can't you tell a joke in a cornfield?

Because the stalks are all ears.

Muslim Jokes More Muslim Jokes

How do the Muslims like their eggs cooked?

Sunni side up. I know this is a Shiite joke.

Why do Muslim extremists prefer to drink cappuccino?

Because they hate french press.

Scaler Jokes More Scaler Jokes

What happens when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector with a scaler.

What do you get when you cross a mountain-climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you can't cross a scaler with a vector.

Ste Jokes More Ste Jokes

What did the Russian athlete say when he was stung by a mosquito during the Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro?

zika blyat

What did the allergic say after getting stung by a bee?

Life's a bee-itch and then you die."

Disease Jokes More Disease Jokes

What kind of disease do you get from birds?

Chirpes. It's a canarial disease, and I hear it's untweetable.

What disease do terrible parkers have?

parkin'sins

Vector Jokes More Vector Jokes

What do you get when you combine a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing! You can't cross scalars and vectors.

What do you get when you cross a mountain-climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you can't cross a scaler with a vector.