Mosquito Jokes

What do you call Muslims at the end of their religious service?

Mosquitoes

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What do you call a crazy guy in a room full of mosquitoes?

A bit neurotic.

What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?

You can't. A mosquito is a vector and the mountain climber is a scaler. Courtesy of my physics professor.

What happens when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector with a scaler.

What do you get when you're bitten by a mosquito wearing a fedora?

M'laria

What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito?

A mosquito can "fly", but a fly can not "mosquito".

What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector and a scalar.

How can you tell if there's a mosquito in your bed?

By the "M" on his pajamas.

How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. But I don't know how they got in there.

What do mosquitoes think of people who wear bug spray?

They are just OFF-full

What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing you can't cross a vector with a scaler.

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What do you call A Tale of Two Mosquitoes?

A bite-time story.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a rock climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.

What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly?

A: A mosquito can fly, but a fly can't mosquito.

What did the Russian athlete say when he was stung by a mosquito during the Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro?

zika blyat

What religion do mosquitoes follow?

Muslim, because they go to a mosque...ito. Sorry.

What animal gets applauded?

The mosquito.

What do you get if you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?

No one knows. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

Why are mosquitos religious ?

They prey on you !

What does mosquito say when its parents die?

shhhhhh.....it !!

What did the neckbeard say to the mosquito?

M'laria

What do you get when a mountain climber crosses a mosquito?

You can't cross a scalar and a vector.

Why did the mosquito go to the dentist ?

To improve his bite !

What fever did Joe Dirt catch on vacation after getting bit by a mosquito?

Deeeeeeeeeeengue

Why are mosquitoes annoying?

Because they get under your skin.

What do you get when you combine a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing! You can't cross scalars and vectors.

What do you call a mosquito sitting on your wife's cheek?

A golden opportunity

What is a mosquito's favourite sport ?

Skin-diving !

What did one mosquito say to another when they came out of the cinema?

Fancy a bite

What do you get when you cross a mountain-climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you can't cross a scaler with a vector.

How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2...and don't ask me how they got in there. (My 87 year old grandma just told me this one)

Why is it best to be bitten quickly by one mosquito?

Because an itch in time saves nine.

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Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do mermaids wear seashells for bras?

Because a and b shells are too small.

Why did the hipster where a toque in the summer?

So he could say he wore it before it was cool.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What do people in Prague call abortions?

Canceled Czechs

What is a double-wide salad?

It's a salad for people who can't afford a house salad

Physics Professor Jokes More Physics Professor Jokes

What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito?

You can't. A mosquito is a vector and the mountain climber is a scaler. Courtesy of my physics professor.

What did the physics professor shout when he disproved Hooke's Law in early to mid March?

Spring break!

Pajama Jokes More Pajama Jokes

How do you know if there is an elephant in bed with you?

He has a big E on his pajamas.

What is a stealth bombers favorite banana from Bananas in Pajamas?

Summer Olympics Jokes More Summer Olympics Jokes

Why isn't Mexico in the Summer Olympics?

Everyone who can run, jump, and swim are already over here.

What did the Russian athlete say when he was stung by a mosquito during the Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro?

zika blyat

Tale Jokes More Tale Jokes

What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?

A tale of whoa!

Why are cats bad storytellers?

Because they only have one *tale*

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

How many American cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they just beat the room for being black

What do you do if you enter a room and a clown is having a stroke?

Close the door and go to .

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a duck and a curling iron?

A duck is a carbon-based life form while a curling iron is an inanimate appliance

Whats the difference between Zoidburg and Snowden?

both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!