How much would you say you read the Bible?

Well, I don't read it religiously." Bud-dum tss, I hate myself.

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Why do black men hate posting on reddit?

Because they can't deny that their comment was the parent.

Why do vampires hate Texas Roadhouse?

They can not stand stakes!

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How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

A. Moses. Because he broke all 10 commandments at once.

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What are you going to do with your time, now that you're retired?

I'm going to finish my book." "I didn't know you were writing a book." "I'm not, I'm reading one."

Why are Twitter jokes not as funny when you read them aloud to a friend?

It's not like they had to be there...