What are the 2 rules of success?

No1 : Don't tell everything you know.

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Who is that walking up my driveway?

Anxiety in 3...2...1... knock, knock *sigh* "WAIT A SECOND!" *mumbles* "I need to find pants."

What do you call a person who knows 3 languages?

Trilingual. What do you call a person who knows 2 languages Bilingual. What do you call a person who knows only one language American.

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How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating?

If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.

How many posters who type 'r/antijokes' on this sub only do it for karma?

Seriously, I don't know. Maybe 50?

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Why can't you tell a pun to a kleptomaniac?

They take things literally.

How does a black women tell she is pregnant?

When she pulls the tampon out and the cotton is already picked.

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What are the 2 rules of success?

No1 : Don't tell everything you know.

What do Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and LeBron James have in common that led to their success in the NBA?

Hard work and dedication.