What brings no babies?

The Swallow.

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Swallow Jokes More Swallow Jokes

What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock?

Politics

Why do you give children who swallowed poison some milk?

To make them happy before they die.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why do people always make such a fuss over how much a newborn weighs?

It's a baby, not a stash of heroin.

Why do people congratulate you when Mom is the one making the baby?

Me: I helped 5: How Me: 5: Me: I read her the instructions

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Why does Tiger Woods bring two pair of pants during a golf game?

Its in case he gets a hole-in-one.

Why didn't the melons get married in Vegas?

Because they cantaloupe. This joke was brought to you by Dads inc.