What did Gandhi say to the British, after they asked him to move?

Nah, mastay

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How many mosquitoes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2...and don't ask me how they got in there. (My 87 year old grandma just told me this one)

What does the unemployed starving man ask his rich baker friend?

I just need some bread

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What do the British say when they're flirting?

U wan'a m8?

Why is it so confusing to play chess with the British?

It's only check, mate

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What do Jesus, Gandhi and Mel Gibson all have in common?

They all had a brave-heart.

What does Gandhi not like on the Internet?

Salt

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What did the Buddhist say when asked if he'd like to move from Tibet to North Korea?

Nah. I'ma stay.

What do you call a candelabra that refuses to hold candles?

A candle-nah-brah