What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?

Put it on my bill

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Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

When do you use duct tape on a duck?

When he's quacked.

What is Iraq's national bird?

A: Duck.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What's it like being a grown up?

Me hands her money: When we get to the movies, buy a large popcorn. 10: This is only $2 M: Exactly

How do you sell a chicken to a deaf man?

pause....) WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN??!! (SHOUTING)

Bill Jokes More Bill Jokes

What bill is the Congress's favorite?

Of course the $ bill!

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

Lipstick Jokes More Lipstick Jokes

Why do Avon ladies walk funny?

because their lipstick

What's the Difference Between Guts and Balls?

Guts is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk meeting your wife at the door with a broom in her hand and asking her if she's still cleaning the house or going out for a ride. Balls is coming home late from the bar, drunk as a skunk with lipstick all over your face and the scent of women's perfume all over you, meeting your wife at the door and stating, "You're next, chubby."