What did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine...?

I heard that he was fully re-covered.

Previous Random Joke Next

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How do you talk to an angel" Me: I don't know, Skype I guess?

How do you hold her close to where you are" Me: Aren't most angels men

What is your fee?

Lawyer says: "1000 US dollars for 3 questions." Man: "Wow - so much! Isn't it a bit expensive " Lawyer: "Yes, what is your third question "

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What do people and trees have in common?

They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

What did Harry Potter say when he fell down the hill?

Ouch! I Hermione!"

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

What do you call a row of trucks covered in mozzarella?

A cheesy pickup line

Why do you hold your hand flat above your eyes when you look into the distance?

Because when you would cover your eyes with your hand, you wouldn't see sh*t. I'm lame.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What did you hear about the tree who was in love?

He pined everyday.

Which of my girlfriends do you think is the prettiest?

What I actually heard was "Do you want a fight "