What do Abraham Lincoln and an '80s sitcom have in common?

Both were shot before a live audience.

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Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

How do you change the light bulb in the dark?

You don't. The police shoot you.

Why are criminals so good at basketball?

They shoot first and ask questions later.

80 Jokes More 80 Jokes

What do you call an 80s band comrpising of only fruit?

Durian durian! im sorry

What has eight arms and an IQ of 80?

Four girlfriends drinking on St Patricks Day!

Abraham Lincoln Jokes More Abraham Lincoln Jokes

What would a depressed Abraham Lincoln do?

Slit the writ of habeas corpus.

Why can't Abraham Lincoln remember the Gettysburg Address?

Because he's dead.