What do vegetables watch when they're feeling frisky?

Cornography

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What actor touches every girl on set?

David Cop-a-feel

Why did the horror fan switch off Cujo?

Because he felt like IT

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How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't change it. They just watch it burn out, then follow it around for another 15 years.

Who can watch an R rated movie but not a PG?

Batman

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Why do people prefer shooting stars to vegetables?

Because they're meteor

Why do neurologists think they're God?

Because they can turn any animal into a vegetable!