What do you call a sacred, flammable piece of wood?

A match made in Heaven.

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Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

How does a crazy person get out of the woods?

They take the psychopath.

How long have you been chopping wood for?

I'm not sure, I'll check the logs"

Heaven Jokes More Heaven Jokes

Why are there no nice cars in heaven?

Because abortions float.

Why is the door to heaven always open?

Because Jesus was born in a barn.

Match Jokes More Match Jokes

Why can't Roman Reigns light a campfire?

Because he doesn't carry any matches!

Why are wedding dresses white?

So the dishwasher matches the stove.