What do you tell an Irishman if you catch him urinating?

European.

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What dog can tell the time ?

A watch dog !

What are you allergic to?

and can tell them Plant Spern

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What is the difference between a Mercedes and a Lexus?

Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Lexus...

What did one fish say to the other?

Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.

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How can you tell if a Redditor is European?

Don't worry, he'll tell you

What does the European say to the black couple?

I ship them

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What do you call an Irishman who bounces off of walls?

Rick O'Shea.

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."