What does 9/11 and owning CP have in common?

The government will watch you for the next 15+ years

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911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

Whats ur emergency?

OMG my neighbours cat is stuck on the roof-" 911: Ma'am, this is an emergency only service- "-of my sons mouth."

Why didn't the blond call 911?

She couldn't find the 11 on the dial pad.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Why is it hard to watch two elephants boxing?

Because they've got the same color trunks.

Whatcha watching?

Me: Tiny Houses. 9: Wow it's tiny! Who's gonna live there Me: Two people. 9: Are they married Me: Not for long.

Government Jokes More Government Jokes

What do you call a group of spoiled children?

The government

What do you call a government consisted of burglars?

A thiefdom.

15 Year Jokes More 15 Year Jokes

How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't change it. They just watch it burn out, then follow it around for another 15 years.

What did the carpet enthusiast say to his mistress?

I haven't had hard wood in 15 years.