What DOESN'T Bruce want for Christmas from his ex?

A Krismas goose.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What will they ask Jared of Subway in the prison shower?

Do you want a 6 or a 12 inch one?' I heard this joke on Bill Burr's podcast.

Why did the engineer put a clock under his desk?

A: He wanted to work overtime.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Christmas is over?

OC (please use your Ahnold voice) Hasta la vista, Baby....Jesus.

Why am I getting my Christmas presents in August?

Her mom replies, "Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy."

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

How crazy is your ex?

Crazy like my triceps " "How sick is your mother Sick like my triceps "

What do you call your ex-girlfriend in Maryland?

Old bae.

Bruce Jokes More Bruce Jokes

Why is Batman so jealous of Superman?

Because he has 3 dead parents and Bruce only has 2

What's the difference between bruce banner and bruce jenner?

One turned into a terrifying monster, the other is an avenger.