What happens to lawyers after they die?

They lie still.

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What happened when a heart robs a bank?

It gets put under cardiac arrest.

What happens when a midget smokes weed?

He gets medium.

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What body movements alert you that a politician is lying?

His lips are moving.

What do lawyers do after they die?

They lie still.

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Why are lawyers buried 18 feet deep when they die?

Because deep down they're all actually good people.

Why are there fences around cemeteries?

people are dying to get in.

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What professional hates going to the bar?

A lawyer

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer?

We're both lawyers.