What kind of cats lay around the house?

A: Car-pets!

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

Where was I conceived, dad?

Dad: Ahh *rubs back of neck* At the Bellagio in Las Vegas. -Rly Dad: Wd I lie to u, Bestwestern Broomcloset

Why did the blond lay out on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?

She wanted to get a dark tan.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Why don't my dog and my cat get along?

She's a Re-puppy-can and he's a Demo-cat!

What's Anakin Skywalker's favorite animal?

Well, it was cats, originally, but then he was turned to the dog side.

House Jokes More House Jokes

How did the lesbian couple build their house?

Tongue and groove.

Why did Rembrandt lose his house?

Because he was *Baroque*.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of music do they play at Stonehenge?

Hard Rock.

What kind of engine did you put in it?

cut to me filling my car with tomato soup* Me: Um... A fast one.