What kind of cats lay around the house?

A: Car-pets!

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

Why should you never trust someone straight after coitus?

Usually they're lying

What do you call a man who thinks women are easy to lie to?

Deceased

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What do you call a cat sitting on the edge of a cliff?

A precipuss.

How do you know a cat is ready to leave?

He makes a fe-line for the door.

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why is it I cant get a mobile reception in my house in town, yet a terrorist can upload his vids from a cave in Afganistan?

Is there a terrorist mobile tariff I can go on

How do you know a North Korean robbed your house?

All your printer paper is gone and when you look at the printer history it's all Kim Jong-un.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of gun does a firefighter have?

A water gun.

Why did the yankee wolf like southern ladies?

By the time they said "I'm not that kind of girl" they were.