What kind of cats lay around the house?

A: Car-pets!

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What do you call a man who thinks women are easy to lie to?

Deceased

How does that make you feel?

ME: "Mphh mophh wampph." T: Again, this works better if you don't lie face down on the couch.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What country do all cats wish to get their food from?

Viet NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

What does a cat say when he likes something?

A: It's purrrfect.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What's the difference between a house cleaner and a thief?

The way they enter your house.

How did the lesbian couple build their house?

Tongue and groove.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of shoes does Jack Lew wear?

Cashews.

What kind of laundry detergent do handicapped people use?

Downy. I apologize for this one, it's pretty mean. I really do sympathize with handicapped people.