What lives in a tree and is dangerous?

A crow with a machine gun.

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Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What does your mother do for a living?

She sells shesells...I mean...Sea sells sea shells...dammit! She's...a beachside entrepreneur."

How many Global Warming nutjobs does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they don't use light bulbs. They live in caves and use no forms of artificial energy because they wouldn't want to be perceived as hypocrites or morons.

Crow Jokes More Crow Jokes

Why did North Korea tell South Korea not to crow about the recent agreement?

Because they'd rather see them raven. Obligatory apology: saw a headline and couldn't resist.

How do crows know what time is it?

They have the knights watch .

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What is green, fuzzy and very deadly if it falls on you out of a tree?

A pool table.

How does an elephant climb a tree?

A: He hides in an acorn and waits for a bird to carry him up.

Machine Gun Jokes More Machine Gun Jokes

What do you call a penguin with a machine gun?

Sir. Groan worthy penguin jokes(https://allwrong.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/penguin-riddles/)

What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree?

A: A gorilla with a machine gun.