Machine Gun Jokes

What do you call a man holding a machine gun?

Sir

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What do you get when you cross a vulture with a machine gun?

As far away as possible. shameful

How does a religious extremist convert an atheist into a holy man?

They use a machine gun.

What lives in a tree and is dangerous?

A crow with a machine gun.

What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree?

A: A gorilla with a machine gun.

What do you call a penguin with a machine gun?

Sir. Groan worthy penguin jokes(https://allwrong.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/penguin-riddles/)

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How many people live in South America?

A Brazilian.

Why are people so sad in Ferguson?

Because they live in misery

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What do you call a Mexican girl who converts to Islam?

Dora the Exploder

How does a religious extremist convert an atheist into a holy man?

They use a machine gun.

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What was the crow doing up on the telephone pole?

He was making a long-distance caw.

What do you call a bird that has been molested?

Rustled Crow

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What will you have sir?

Bear: "Gin............ and tonic." Bartender: "Why the big pause " Bear: "I dont know my dad had them too."

What do you call an Englishman with an IQ of 50?

Colonel, sir.

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What do you call a holy man who works at McDonald's?

A Friar

Where do holy men sleep?

Monk beds.

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What do you get when you cross a vulture with a machine gun?

As far away as possible. shameful

What did the vulture say when the airline agent asked if he wanted to check his luggage?

No, thanks, it's just carrion...

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How do you hold your liqour?

I hold mine by the ears.

How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one to hold it in place while the rest of Europe runs circles around it.

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What do you call an amputee that can't answer riddles?

Stumped

Why wouldn't Samus go below Brinstar?

Because she was a-Kraid to. Now I think about it, this joke is a bit more "Riddle-y," than say an actual joke.