Machine Gun Jokes

What do you call a man holding a machine gun?

Sir

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What do you get when you cross a vulture with a machine gun?

As far away as possible. shameful

How does a religious extremist convert an atheist into a holy man?

They use a machine gun.

What lives in a tree and is dangerous?

A crow with a machine gun.

What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree?

A: A gorilla with a machine gun.

What do you call a penguin with a machine gun?

Sir. Groan worthy penguin jokes(https://allwrong.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/penguin-riddles/)

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Convert Jokes More Convert Jokes

What do you call an actor who converts to Judaism?

A Christian bail.

How do you a convert a number to a radical?

You convert it to Islam.

Groan Jokes More Groan Jokes

What's long and hard and makes women groan?

An ironing board.

What does a cow use to solve math problems?

A *cow*culater. I made it up myself, so don't groan at the pun.

Penguin Jokes More Penguin Jokes

What's the difference between a loaf of bread and a penguin?

I don't know what " "We're sure not sending you to the store!"

Why was the penguin banned from the Winter Olympics?

He was caught taking Polaroids.

Holy Man Jokes More Holy Man Jokes

What do you call a holy man who works at McDonald's?

A Friar

Where do holy men sleep?

Monk beds.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why does the USA use F?

The rest of the world has varying degrees of communism.

When I'm dead, I'm going to haunt offices and say, "OooOoo... why are you using your mouse?

hit Control-C... you're taking forever..."

Atheist Jokes More Atheist Jokes

What do you get when you cross an atheist and a christian?

An argument

What do you get if you cross a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist?

Willing suspension of disbelief.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when a mountain climber crosses a mosquito?

You can't cross a scalar and a vector.

What do you get when you cross a squirrel with a Hummer?

A gray and red hairy paste.

Riddle Jokes More Riddle Jokes

Why are riddles about trees so hard?

Because they always leave you stumped!

What's the riddle?

What has a foot but no legs?