Machine Gun Jokes

What do you call a man holding a machine gun?

Sir

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What do you get when you cross a vulture with a machine gun?

As far away as possible. shameful

How does a religious extremist convert an atheist into a holy man?

They use a machine gun.

What lives in a tree and is dangerous?

A crow with a machine gun.

What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree?

A: A gorilla with a machine gun.

What do you call a penguin with a machine gun?

Sir. Groan worthy penguin jokes(https://allwrong.wordpress.com/2007/10/05/penguin-riddles/)

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Penguin Jokes More Penguin Jokes

Why couldn't the penguin turn around in the phone booth?

Because he had a javelin through his head.

Why don't penguins ever get married?

They always get cold feet! I'll show myself out.

Crow Jokes More Crow Jokes

How do crows know what time is it?

They have the knights watch .

What lives in a tree and is dangerous?

A crow with a machine gun.

Vulture Jokes More Vulture Jokes

What do you call a vulture with no beak?

A head banger.

What do you get when you cross Kansas with a vulture?

Carrion my wayward son

Atheist Jokes More Atheist Jokes

How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They don't believe in a higher power.

What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died?

Well I'll be damned!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why are we watching a live internet stream of men exiting a hole?

Isn't this using the internet backwards

How did the Greek army separate the men from the boys?

With a crowbar

Riddle Jokes More Riddle Jokes

What starts with "W" and ends with "ife"?

Nevermind, this riddle is too easy.

What do you call an amputee that can't answer riddles?

Stumped

Groan Jokes More Groan Jokes

What does a cow use to solve math problems?

A *cow*culater. I made it up myself, so don't groan at the pun.

What's long and hard and makes women groan?

An ironing board.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What does a tree do when he's going on a vacation?

He packs his trunk and leaves. I should go back to studying now. K bye.

How does an elephant go up a tree?

It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow.