How does an elephant go up a tree?

It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow.

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Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners?

Cause he can't do stand-up.

What do you call it when a person acts holy for a night then sins every day after?

A one night stand with Jesus

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What does ever horse and rider do at the same time?

Grow old!

Why are all my black friends so tall?

Because their knee grows.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

Why did the elephant paint its nails red?

So it could hide in the strawberry patch.... Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? No? See, it worked!

Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle?

Because he doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What do Trees do in Autumn?

Take a Leaf of absence.

How do trees get online?

They just log in...

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?

It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......

What are we waiting for?

the doctor asks. "Patients, Doctor," replied the nurse. "Patients."

Acorn Jokes More Acorn Jokes

What did the squirrel say when it saw the acorn tree cut down and taken away?

Thats nuts

How does an elephant go up a tree?

It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow.