How does an elephant go up a tree?

It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow.

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Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What do you call Dana Carvey standing on the back of Dana Carvey?

Turtles all the way down

What does a clever sentry on guard duty say when he wakes up to see his commanding officer standing over him?

Amen

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What's the only thing that grows in Ferguson?

The crime rate.

Where did the poor Italian man grow up?

The spaghetto

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

What's the difference between and elephant and a mail box?

I don't know. I hope you're not allowed to take the mail out to the mail box.

How do you fit an elephant in a thimble?

You take the "I" out of "thimble" and the "F" out of "way."

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What kind of people should you stay away from?

Trees. They're quite shady.

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?

You wave hello!

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

How do you save a suicidal procrastinator?

Tell them it can probably wait 'til tomorrow.

How can you tell if somebody's run a marathon?

Wait 15 seconds, they'll tell you.

Acorn Jokes More Acorn Jokes

How does an elephant climb a tree?

A: He hides in an acorn and waits for a bird to carry him up.

What did the squirrel say when it saw the acorn tree cut down and taken away?

Thats nuts