What's black and dangerous and lives in a tree?

A: A gorilla with a machine gun.

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Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives?

A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!

Why is Santa Claus so jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live. I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas.

Gorilla Jokes More Gorilla Jokes

What do you get when you cross an (italian) with a gorilla?

A retarded gorilla. (Can be modified to offend any nationality or group)

What's black, grey, and red all over?

A gorilla with a child in the enclosure.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What are bananas high in?

Trees!

Where's the best place to hide an elephant?

Dad: Where is the best place to hide an elephant? Me: I don't know, behind a big rock? Dad: In a tree silly. Me: In a tree? Dad: When's the last time you saw an elephant in a tree?

Machine Gun Jokes More Machine Gun Jokes

What lives in a tree and is dangerous?

A crow with a machine gun.

What do you get when you cross a vulture with a machine gun?

As far away as possible. shameful