What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?

A: A guitarist who'd told too many drummer jokes.

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Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

How do like really laid-back types answer the phone?

Mellow.

What is the difference between a brick and a blonde?

If you lay a brick it doesn't follow you home.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you turn an old dishwasher into a snowblower?

You give her a shovel and tell her to get to work.

How can you tell when the Chief Accountant is getting soft?

When he actually listens to Marketing before saying No

Guitarist Jokes More Guitarist Jokes

What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig?

Would you like fries with that?"

Why did the guitarist keep his condoms in his guitar case?

He only needed them after he'd opened it.

Ditch Jokes More Ditch Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, lying in a ditch?

Phil

What did the cow say when she got hit by a car?

Moo." What did the cow saw when she fell into a ditch? "Moo." What did the cow say when she fell onto the electric fence? "Moo." What did the cow say when she got hit by a train? "Why does everything always happen to meeee?" Protip: My dad wrote this joke for me when I was six.