What's dark, and usually involved in crime?

A balaclava.

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What do you call a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, Chris Brown doesn't want you getting involved in his personal life

Which government organization is involved with protecting Area 51?

The C.I.ayy

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What does Spiderman do when he's not fighting crime?

Web Development.

What do you call someone who finishes a sentence with you?

Partner in crime.

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What do you call a Russian wearing a head scarf, a balaclava and a helmet?

Anything you want. He can't hear a thing.

What's dark, and usually involved in crime?

A balaclava.