What's the difference between a cigarette and my exwife?

Cigarettes don't scream when they're burning.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a Mercedes and a Lexus?

Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Lexus...

What's the difference between a German and a Scot?

The German knows when he's not speaking English.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb?

None a burned out bulb can't catch a waiter's eye.

How can I ever repay you?

Favstar in the bio "Oh I don't have Twi-" *returns baby to burning building*

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What is Dracula's favorite pudding?

Leeches and scream.

What's 18 inches and makes women SCREAM?

A stillborn.

Cigarette Jokes More Cigarette Jokes

What did the Mississippi girl say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes.

Why kind of cigarettes do Hawaiians smoke?

Mahalo bro lights.