What's the difference between a statesman and a politician?

A statesman is a dead politician. God knows we need more statesman.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between handguns and feminists?

A handgun only has one trigger.

What's the difference between Tigger and Pooh?

I've never smeared tigger on my face

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many house flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just the standard two, but I'll be damned if I know how they got in there.

Why are we at the vet?

Me: So our pig can't have babies 6: How do you know she doesn't want babies Me:*looks at my kids* Just a hunch

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What would Caitlyn Jenner need to do if she changed her mind about being a woman?

She would need to reJennerate some balls. What does Caitlyn Jenner do before she goes out Bruce's up for the evening.

How many Germans do you need to screw in a lightbulb?

One. We're efficient not funny!

God Jokes More God Jokes

Why wasn't Jesus born in Detroit?

Because God couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

What did the god of lightning say after working out for the first time?

I'm Thor

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

What signal tells you that a politician is lying?

The lips are moving

How is a broken clock better than a politician?

The clock is still right twice a day.