What's the difference between an orphan home and a terrorists' boot camp?

I don't know. I'm retiring next month.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

You will see one later and one in a while.

What's the difference between a man and a margarita?

A margarita hits the spot every time!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you get if you cross a giant hairy monster with a penguin?

I don't know but it's a very tightfitting tuxedo.

How do you know when you're in a true, tough lesbian bar?

Even the pool tables have no balls

Retire Jokes More Retire Jokes

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

What did the retires baker say to the Dough on the table?

I don't knead you anymore.

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

What gift do you want?

HUSBAND: "An English girl." After a month, wife returns.. HUSBAND: "Where is my gift " WIFE: "Wait for nine months!"

What's the best time of this month for vampires?

It depends on the girl