What's the most important meal of the day to help you lose pounds?

Brexit

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why did Christopher Reeve lose the debate?

Because his arguments against scrutiny.

What do a redneck divorce and a burning meth lab have in common?

Someone's losing a trailer.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What are Mozart and Beethoven up to these days?

They're both Decomposing

What does Andre 3000's menorah look like on the last day of Hanukkah?

ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT ALIGHT

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What do women and Slinkies have in common?

Not much, but you can't help but crack a smile when see some tumbling down the stairs.

How do you help a lemon?

Lemon-aid.

Pound Jokes More Pound Jokes

What's the relationship between the pound, the dollar, and the ruble?

A pound of rubles is worth one dollar.

What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?

About three pounds, including the urn.

Brexit Jokes More Brexit Jokes

What do you call taking a dump after breakfast?

A Brexit

How do you destroy an empire?

Brexit.