What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times?

Two octopuses shaking hands.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why do happy Asians always have dirty hands?

If you're happy and you know it, crap your hands."

What's worse than having a screaming child on your hands?

Having half a screaming child on your hands.

Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What do a baby and an Etch A Sketch have in common?

If you don't like it, you just shake it and start over.

What animal do you get when shake a pig?

a ham-stir

Octopus Jokes More Octopus Jokes

What do you call an area where an Octopus is sitting?

Octopied

What do you get when you cross an octopus and a lion?

A stern rebuke from the ethics committee and an immediate withdrawal of funds.

Sixteen Jokes More Sixteen Jokes

What's big heavy furry dangerous and has sixteen wheels?

A monster on roller-skates.

What has 100 legs and sixteen teeth?

The front row of a Willie Nelson concert.