What's your emergency Possum: MY CHILDREN ARE ALL DEAD! Possum 911: You sure they aren't just playing?

Possum: Oh yeah

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911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

What does 9/11 and owning CP have in common?

The government will watch you for the next 15+ years

What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11?

When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why are softball games so hard to follow?

Because everyone secretly plays for the other team.

Why did a pair of tomatoes play footsie?

To-mate-toes!

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

What is the difference between Reddit and children's television?

Children don't throw tantrums when there's a rerun of some content.