What was the first thing Abraham Lincoln told his friends when they asked him how he got an STD?

Four whore and seven beers ago....

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What is the one thing you can't say even on the internet?

removed

What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper?

A: Good question. We're still trying to find out too.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you confuse a fish?

You put it in a bowl and tell it go to a corner!

How do you tell a hypocrite from a normal person?

The hypocrite's the one that exists.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did Anakin say when the princess asked for his credit card?

Naboo

What did the Middle Eastern dishwasher say when his boss asked him what he did all day at work?

Iraq the dishes in the dish rack and Iran the dishwasher

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What do you call a shark with no friends?

A lone shark

Why are me and my friends so nosey?

Because we're pry mates.

Std Jokes More Std Jokes

What STD did the US Soccer player get during the 2014 World Cup?

Ghana-RIO!

What do STDs and jokes have in common?

They're both easily spread.

Abraham Lincoln Jokes More Abraham Lincoln Jokes

What would Abraham Lincoln say if he found out there was a movie about him slaying vampires?

What's a movie?

What do Abraham Lincoln and an '80s sitcom have in common?

Both were shot before a live audience.