What was the first thing Abraham Lincoln told his friends when they asked him how he got an STD?

Four whore and seven beers ago....

This joke may have profanity.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the last thing you want to hear right after you get done blowing Willie Nelson?

I ain't Willie Nelson."

Why is it so difficult for people with breast cancer to remember things?

They have bad mammaries.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you make a Snowman smile?

Tell him the snowblower is coming.

Why didn't the monk sell his temple?

Thought of this one on my own while playing WoW a couple days ago and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been told before. I like corny jokes. I Googled it and didn't find anything (:

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

he proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

What do you ask a Jamaican who's baking a cake?

Hey, are you Jamaican a cake?

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What language do pirates speak?

Arrrrrrabic! A friend and I were extremely high and he thought of this.Good times.

Who's your friend who likes to play?

JOHN CENA** *DUn DUnDUnDUn DUn DUnDUnDUn.*

Std Jokes More Std Jokes

What is the only thing more permanent than a Sharpie marker?

A STD.

What did the doctor give the Asari with an STD?

Anti-biotics

Abraham Lincoln Jokes More Abraham Lincoln Jokes

What did Abraham Lincoln say after a three-day drinking spree?

I freed the what?"

What would Abraham Lincoln say if he found out there was a movie about him slaying vampires?

What's a movie?