What was the first thing Abraham Lincoln told his friends when they asked him how he got an STD?

Four whore and seven beers ago....

This joke may have profanity.

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why do babies love sticking things in their mouth?

And why doesn't my girlfriend share this impulse?

What is the one thing you can't say even on the internet?

removed

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?

Someone told him he should get an apple Mac

How do you tell if someone's an introvert?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

What did the man say when he realized the boy who asked him out was an orphan?

No home oh

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What's it like to have a social life?

Asking for a friend.

What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

Std Jokes More Std Jokes

What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear?

Hearing AIDS

What kind of STD does a blonde woman give you?

Herp-n-derp-es

Abraham Lincoln Jokes More Abraham Lincoln Jokes

What did Abraham Lincoln say after a two week drunk?

I freed what

What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays."