Std Jokes

What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear?

Hearing AIDS

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What's the difference between STD's and Pokemon?

I still haven't caught any Pokemon.

What do STDs and jokes have in common?

They're both easily spread.

What musical instrument do people with STDs play?

The herpsichord.

Why did the stop sign get an STD?

Because it had a 4-way.

What was the first thing Abraham Lincoln told his friends when they asked him how he got an STD?

Four whore and seven beers ago....

This joke may have profanity.

What's in an STD salad?

green pees

What do you call a hippopotamus with an STD?

A herpepotamus.

What STD does a hip black man get?

Kool-AIDs

What's the worst STD you can get from a black man?

Pregnancy.

What kind of STD does a blonde woman give you?

Herp-n-derp-es

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Couple's Daily Question Mug
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What kind of STD does a bird get?

Chirpies. :-)

What STD is found most commonly among lesbians?

Carpet burn

What's an STD's favorite kind of pizza?

Heperoni

What STD did Forrest Gump catch?

NSFW Jennytal Warts

This joke may have profanity.

What do you call an STD for homeless people?

Hermit Crabs

What did the doctor give the Asari with an STD?

Anti-biotics

What is the only thing more permanent than a Sharpie marker?

A STD.

What do you call a criminal with an STD?

A herpetrator.

What do you call an std that only reptiles can get?

Gatoraids.

What's the difference between a clever midget and an STD?

One is a cunning runt.

What STD did the US Soccer player get during the 2014 World Cup?

Ghana-RIO!

What STD can you catch from Mayor McCheese?

None, but you can get food poisoning.

What kind of venereal disease does a Stormtrooper get?

An AT-STD.

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Criminal Jokes More Criminal Jokes

Why are criminals so good at basketball?

They shoot first and ask questions later.

What did Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, and Nelson Mandela all have in common?

They're all criminals.

Hippopotamus Jokes More Hippopotamus Jokes

What's the new baby hippo's name?

Hippopotamus keeper: I don't know he won't tell me.

What do you call a hippopotamus in an I.C.U.?

Hippo-critical.

Soccer Player Jokes More Soccer Player Jokes

Why did the soccer player have to ask for a bib at the restaurant?

Because he was Messi

What does a terrorist and a soccer player have in common?

Mossack Fonseca.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why did the doctor go on a ski trip alone?

He was part of doctors without boarders .

Why do doctors hate Wolves?

Lupus

Kool Aid Jokes More Kool Aid Jokes

Why can't blondes make Kool Aid?

Because they can't figure out how to get eight cups of water into that tiny little package.

Why did the cultists drink the Kool-Aid?

To get to the other side.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What do Tinder and Seafood restaurants have in common?

Both are good places to find Catfish

What do yeast and a redneck have in common?

They're both usually found with beer and inbred. -&y (written by moi)

Chirpie Jokes More Chirpie Jokes

What kind of STD does a bird get?

Chirpies. :-)

What do you get when you kiss a bird?

Chirpies. It's a Canarial Disease. It's Untweetable!

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

What do you call it when an Irish band is caught lip syncing?

Sham rock.

What did the burglar say to the lady who caught him stealing her silver?

I'm at your service ma'am.