Std Jokes

What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear?

Hearing AIDS

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What's the difference between STD's and Pokemon?

I still haven't caught any Pokemon.

What do STDs and jokes have in common?

They're both easily spread.

What musical instrument do people with STDs play?

The herpsichord.

Why did the stop sign get an STD?

Because it had a 4-way.

What was the first thing Abraham Lincoln told his friends when they asked him how he got an STD?

Four whore and seven beers ago....

This joke may have profanity.

What's in an STD salad?

green pees

What do you call a hippopotamus with an STD?

A herpepotamus.

What STD does a hip black man get?

Kool-AIDs

What's the worst STD you can get from a black man?

Pregnancy.

What kind of STD does a blonde woman give you?

Herp-n-derp-es

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Couple's Daily Question Mug
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What kind of STD does a bird get?

Chirpies. :-)

What STD is found most commonly among lesbians?

Carpet burn

What's an STD's favorite kind of pizza?

Heperoni

What STD did Forrest Gump catch?

NSFW Jennytal Warts

This joke may have profanity.

What do you call an STD for homeless people?

Hermit Crabs

What did the doctor give the Asari with an STD?

Anti-biotics

What is the only thing more permanent than a Sharpie marker?

A STD.

What do you call a criminal with an STD?

A herpetrator.

What do you call an std that only reptiles can get?

Gatoraids.

What's the difference between a clever midget and an STD?

One is a cunning runt.

What STD did the US Soccer player get during the 2014 World Cup?

Ghana-RIO!

What STD can you catch from Mayor McCheese?

None, but you can get food poisoning.

What kind of venereal disease does a Stormtrooper get?

An AT-STD.

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Contract Jokes More Contract Jokes

Why do the lawyers for the reindeer say they have to pull Santa's sled?

Because they have a claus in their contract.

What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production?

Role tied.

Homeless People Jokes More Homeless People Jokes

What is the difference between homeless people and feminists?

Sometimes the homeless get change.

How many homeless people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Zero. Homeless people don't screw in light bulbs they screw in cardboard boxes.

Kool Aid Jokes More Kool Aid Jokes

Why did the cultists drink the Kool-Aid?

To get to the other side.

What STD does a hip black man get?

Kool-AIDs

4 Way Jokes More 4 Way Jokes

Why did the stop sign get an STD?

Because it had a 4-way.

Why did the Yield Sign want to divorce the Stop Sign?

He caught her in a 4-way

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why are fish so gullible?

They fall for things hook line and sinker!

What's that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Oh yeah. Imagination.

Criminal Jokes More Criminal Jokes

Why do we keep putting criminals behind bars?

putting criminals behind bars seems like a bad idea once you consider all the alcohol they're now next to

How do you get a Criminal to stop running?

Play the national anthem

Bird Jokes More Bird Jokes

What birds spend all their time on their knees ?

Birds of prey !

What's the bird of love?

The Swallow.

Pokemon Jokes More Pokemon Jokes

How do you get Peekachu on a bus?

You Pokemon

Why is it a bad idea to change clothes at a Pokemon's house?

Because he might Pikachu!