Std Jokes

What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear?

Hearing AIDS

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What's the difference between STD's and Pokemon?

I still haven't caught any Pokemon.

What do STDs and jokes have in common?

They're both easily spread.

What musical instrument do people with STDs play?

The herpsichord.

Why did the stop sign get an STD?

Because it had a 4-way.

What was the first thing Abraham Lincoln told his friends when they asked him how he got an STD?

Four whore and seven beers ago....

This joke may have profanity.

What's in an STD salad?

green pees

What do you call a hippopotamus with an STD?

A herpepotamus.

What STD does a hip black man get?

Kool-AIDs

What's the worst STD you can get from a black man?

Pregnancy.

What kind of STD does a blonde woman give you?

Herp-n-derp-es

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What kind of STD does a bird get?

Chirpies. :-)

What STD is found most commonly among lesbians?

Carpet burn

What's an STD's favorite kind of pizza?

Heperoni

What STD did Forrest Gump catch?

NSFW Jennytal Warts

This joke may have profanity.

What do you call an STD for homeless people?

Hermit Crabs

What did the doctor give the Asari with an STD?

Anti-biotics

What is the only thing more permanent than a Sharpie marker?

A STD.

What do you call a criminal with an STD?

A herpetrator.

What do you call an std that only reptiles can get?

Gatoraids.

What's the difference between a clever midget and an STD?

One is a cunning runt.

What STD did the US Soccer player get during the 2014 World Cup?

Ghana-RIO!

What STD can you catch from Mayor McCheese?

None, but you can get food poisoning.

What kind of venereal disease does a Stormtrooper get?

An AT-STD.

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Homeless People Jokes More Homeless People Jokes

What do you call two homeless people hitting each other with pieces of cardboard?

A pillow fight

What do you call two homeless people hitting each other with garbage bags?

A Pillow Fight

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of subreddit dedicates itself to darkness and shadows?

No it is not r/shadow removed

What kind of music do they play at Stonehenge?

Hard Rock.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

What is the name of the flower you find between your nose and your chin?

A: Tulips.

Soccer Player Jokes More Soccer Player Jokes

Why do soccer players not play in the rain?

It makes their makeup run.

What did the soccer player shout to the baker who's cakes kept sticking to the tin?

LINE IT!"

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

How do Mexicans cut their pizzas?

With Little Caesars

What do you call a midget with epilepsy that makes pizza?

Little Seizures...

Pregnancy Jokes More Pregnancy Jokes

What's the worst STD you can get from a black man?

Pregnancy.

How do you test for pregnancy in Harlem?

See if the tampon's cotton was picked.

Stop Sign Jokes More Stop Sign Jokes

Why can't Californians stop at stop signs?

I don't know and this is not a laughing matter.

What's the difference between a high and drunk driver?

The drunk driver goes through the stop sign, while the high driver waits for it to turn green.

Pokemon Jokes More Pokemon Jokes

Why don't you undress in front of Pokemon?

Because they might Pikachu!

What does Bill Cosby have in common with a Pokemon trainer?

He makes sure his catch is weak before he throws his balls at them.