Std Jokes

What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear?

Hearing AIDS

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What's the difference between STD's and Pokemon?

I still haven't caught any Pokemon.

What do STDs and jokes have in common?

They're both easily spread.

What musical instrument do people with STDs play?

The herpsichord.

Why did the stop sign get an STD?

Because it had a 4-way.

What was the first thing Abraham Lincoln told his friends when they asked him how he got an STD?

Four whore and seven beers ago....

This joke may have profanity.

What's in an STD salad?

green pees

What do you call a hippopotamus with an STD?

A herpepotamus.

What STD does a hip black man get?

Kool-AIDs

What's the worst STD you can get from a black man?

Pregnancy.

What kind of STD does a blonde woman give you?

Herp-n-derp-es

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What kind of STD does a bird get?

Chirpies. :-)

What STD is found most commonly among lesbians?

Carpet burn

What's an STD's favorite kind of pizza?

Heperoni

What STD did Forrest Gump catch?

NSFW Jennytal Warts

This joke may have profanity.

What do you call an STD for homeless people?

Hermit Crabs

What did the doctor give the Asari with an STD?

Anti-biotics

What is the only thing more permanent than a Sharpie marker?

A STD.

What do you call a criminal with an STD?

A herpetrator.

What do you call an std that only reptiles can get?

Gatoraids.

What's the difference between a clever midget and an STD?

One is a cunning runt.

What STD did the US Soccer player get during the 2014 World Cup?

Ghana-RIO!

What STD can you catch from Mayor McCheese?

None, but you can get food poisoning.

What kind of venereal disease does a Stormtrooper get?

An AT-STD.

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Anti Jokes More Anti Jokes

What's the best things about Anti-Jokes?

They have a large following!

How many anti-feminists does it take to screw the light bulb?

Anti feminists? Nah, they can't screw

4 Way Jokes More 4 Way Jokes

Why did the stop sign get an STD?

Because it had a 4-way.

Why did the Yield Sign want to divorce the Stop Sign?

He caught her in a 4-way

Soccer Player Jokes More Soccer Player Jokes

What does a terrorist and a soccer player have in common?

Mossack Fonseca.

What did the soccer player shout to the baker who's cakes kept sticking to the tin?

LINE IT!"

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Why did the blonde give up on trying to blow up a car?

She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe

What do you call someone who promises change but ends up burning millions of undesirables?

Sean Murray and PS4 users

Cunning Runt Jokes More Cunning Runt Jokes

What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and an all-girl track team?

Pygmies are cunning runts.

Whats the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a women's track team?

A tribe of pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour it'll probably stop whining.

What's the difference between a church bell & a politician?

A church bell peals from the steeple.

Kool Aid Jokes More Kool Aid Jokes

Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid?

They can't get eight cups of water into that little packet.

Why can't blondes make Kool Aid?

Because they can't figure out how to get eight cups of water into that tiny little package.

Hippopotamus Jokes More Hippopotamus Jokes

What do you call a hippopotamus wearing Tie Dye?

A hippiepotamus

Why dont you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees?

Because they're really good at it.