Criminal Jokes

How do you get a Criminal to stop running?

Play the national anthem

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call a criminal that cant see?

A macular degenerate.

What's the difference between Superman and Super Delegate?

The first one saves people from criminals, while the latter saves criminals from the people.

Why are the police so corrupt?

Because criminals keep turning themselves into the police.

What did Mr. Freeze call himself when he joined Batman's fight against criminals?

The Dark Knightrogen

What is it called when a criminal gets excited?

A Con-Yay!

What did Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, and Nelson Mandela all have in common?

They're all criminals.

Why are crime rates down in the US?

Because criminals keep turning themselves into police.

What do you call a horse that's a criminal?

A Zebra.

What do you get when you cross Jesus and a couple of criminals?

A good Friday

Why are black crimes hard to solve?

Because they're all criminals and they look the same.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What do you call a criminal with an STD?

A herpetrator.

Why is it expensive to be a criminal?

Because the police charge you.

What diploma do criminals get?

The third degree.

What do The Police do to catch criminals easily?

Sting operation, of course!

What criminal doesn't take baths?

A dirty crook.

Why do we keep putting criminals behind bars?

putting criminals behind bars seems like a bad idea once you consider all the alcohol they're now next to

When did the criminal get smart?

When the judge threw the book at him.

What three letters in the alphabet frighten criminals?

F.B.I.

Why did you tie a rope on that criminal?

Officer: You ordered me to get a line on the suspect.

How the hell should I know?

Let me talk to a few criminals and see who they think is scariest."

What do you call it when a criminal goes down an elevator?

A con descending.

Why are criminals so good at basketball?

They shoot first and ask questions later.

Why did the criminal get released from prison after he wrote a short essay?

He had served his sentence.

You might also enjoy:

Agree Jokes More Agree Jokes

When do men insist that women are illogical?

When a woman doesn't agree with them.

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why should you never ask people with Down Syndrome to use a printer?

They always make an extra copy

What did the people who hung Jesus to the cross say?

Nailed it

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What did the scientist say before he died by mixing Hydroxide and Nitrate?

OH NO !"

What do you get when you mix a mouse with some laundry detergent?

Squeaky clean clothes.

Bad Idea Jokes More Bad Idea Jokes

Why is it a bad idea to date a girl from the leper colony ?

Whenever they get upset, they cry their eyes out.

Why is it a bad idea to hunt the US national bird?

It's ill-eagle

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a good joke and click bait?

This isn't a good joke.

What's the difference between a muddy bicycle and a ditzy lesbian?

One is a dirty bike and the other is a derpy dyke.

Crime Rate Jokes More Crime Rate Jokes

How do you lower the crime rate?

Give the criminals badges.

What's the only thing that grows in Ferguson?

The crime rate.

Criminal Mastermind Jokes More Criminal Mastermind Jokes

Why do robbers steal money?

Me: So they can buy stuff. 4: Why don't they just steal the stuff She's a criminal mastermind.

What do you get when you mix a black and asian person?

A criminal mastermind ...

Snarky Criminal Jokes More Snarky Criminal Jokes

What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

What do you call a snarky criminal walking down stairs?

A condescending con descending.