Whats white and likes to shoot?

Kevin Nash

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Whats the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?

Ones a snack cracker and ones a crack snacker!

Whats worse than having to break up with your Japanese girlfriend for the first time?

Her not hearing you, so you drop the bomb a 2nd time.

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Why did the Smackhead kick the habit?

He didn't like nuns.

What South American dance do cows like to do?

The Rump-a

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What do Abraham Lincoln and an '80s sitcom have in common?

Both were shot before a live audience.

How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Three. One to screw it in one to watch and one to shoot the witness.