When my family says things like...why don't you have kids yet?

I say "Because I didn't get drunk & do the football team, Sasha."

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

When punching a toddler, how hard is too hard?

Calm down... I'm not talking about MY kid. I know how hard to punch her. I'm her mother.

What's your favourite priest and a rabbi joke?

Been awhile since I've her some priest and a rabbi jokes. Hit me with your best one! Mine: a priest and a rabbi are waking down the street The priest asks " wanna screw some kids?" The rabbi replies "out if what?"

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How does a man see things from woman's point of view?

By looking out the kitchen window.

What's the only thing that grows in Oakland?

A: The Crime Rate!

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What's the difference... between a (nationality, ethnicity, etc you want to make fun of) man and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

What the difference between a Mexican and a bench?

The bench can support a family my first post here, a friend told me this joke.

Football Team Jokes More Football Team Jokes

What do you call 5 black guys and a white guy?

A basketball team. What do you call 9 black guys and a white guy? A baseball team. What do you call 11 black guys and a white guy? A football team. What do you call 100 black guys and a white guy? A cell block

What do you call a football team full of retards?

Special teams.