Which is the most communist vegetable?

The soviet Onion

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How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None. Each lightbulb contains the means of its own revolution.

What do you call an American who does not like apple pie?

A Communist

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Why are the Soviets Russian?

Because there's no Stalin.

Why didn't anyone drive stick in Soviet Russia?

They were afraid of Stalin.

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What do communists put in their soup?

Soviet Onions.

Which is the most communist vegetable?

The soviet Onion