Why are you home so early?

Me: My boss told me to go to hell

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

The picture doesn't scream when you hang it.

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

What do you call one of Santa's helpers who bosses around the reindeer?

When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

How the hell did he escaped?

Guard : He went through the entrance.

What the hell are you two doing?

He demanded. His wife turned to the stranger and said, "See, I told you he was stupid."