What's wrong with them?

his boss asks. "I just can't see myself coming to work today."

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Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why is a dog like a baseball player?

He runs for home when he sees the catcher coming.

When is Independence Day 2 coming out?

9/11

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did the personal trainer break up with his girlfriend?

She just wasn't working out.

Why don't babies work?

Because they're all out of cervix

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How to pick up chicks at the gym Pasted from Facebook: A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

What did the Australian grandmaster say to the banker, when asked what he wanted to exchange?

Check, mate!

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What would Marilyn Monroe being doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of her coffin.

What is today's special at Google's employee cafeteria?

Alphabet Soup.

Boss Jokes More Boss Jokes

What do you call the boss hit by a shrink ray?

Micromanagement!

What qualifies you to be a ninja?

Ninja: I just cut your head off. Boss: That's pr--*thump*