Why couldn't the man open a fish and herb shop?

Because he didn't have the thyme or the plaice.

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What has six legs two arms four eyes and a tail?

A man holding an aardvark.

Why did the man with acute bronchitis go on holiday?

Because he had a wee cough

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How does a blonde turn the lights on in the morning?

A: She opens the car door.

How do you tell who loves you more. Your wife or your dog?

Put both of them in the trunk of your car...drive around...open the trunk and see who is happy to see you.

Thyme Jokes More Thyme Jokes

Who ever said time cannot be bought?

I bought some thyme yesterday.

Why was the chef mad?

He had all the money in the world, but no thyme.

Plaice Jokes More Plaice Jokes

Why couldn't the man open a fish and herb shop?

Because he didn't have the thyme or the plaice.

What's the difference between a flatfish and a good woman?

The fish doesn't know it's plaice.