Why did Dr.Pepper blush?

He received a Sunkist from his Crush

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Why was the dyslexic rabbit disappointed when he received the solid gold bar he had ordered via the internet?

He thought the ad said '24 carrots'

Why did the scarecrow receive a Nobel Prize?

He was outstanding in his field.

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze!

Why are peppers irritating?

Because they're jalapeno business!

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What do you call an angry white elephant that likes crushing donkeys and darker elephants?

Donald Trunk.

What does a 16 year old girl say in West Virginia?

Get off me daddy, you're crushing my smokes