Crush Jokes

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

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What is it called when your crush has a crush on you too?

Imagination.

What does a 16 year old girl say in West Virginia?

Get off me daddy, you're crushing my smokes

What is that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Imagination.

What does a girl from Arkansas say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me paw, you're crushing my smokes."

What do you call a phallic music scale, crushed under a piano?

D-flat

What do a Chinese tourist who got run over by a bus and a lobster have in common?

They're both crushed-asians

What does a 12 year old redneck girl say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me dad, you're crushing my smokes!

What did the farmer's daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad you're crushing my smokes! Or "That'll do pig, that'll do." I have heard it both ways.

Why did Dr.Pepper blush?

He received a Sunkist from his Crush

What did the farmers daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad your crushing my smokes!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What's that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Oh yeah. Imagination.

What did the redneck say when she lost her virginity?

GET OFF ME DAD, you're crushing my cigarettes!

What did the Alabama woman say when she lost her virginity?

Dad you're crushing my cigarettes.

What do u say?

SON: I WILL CRUSH MY ENEMIES ME: *nervous laughter* No, the other thing SON: Oh. Thank you

Why are you crying?

me: You just crushed all the Oreo's in my fanny pack

What's the first thing a hillbilly says after losing her virginity?

Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes.

Why did the two boa constrictors get married ?

Because they had a crush on each other !sna

How do you get over a crush you've had since high school?

Leave the dungeon door unlocked.

What do you call a soda in love?

A Crush

What does a girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity?

Careful, dad, or you'll crush my smokes."

How is everything?

ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt

What does a 14 year-old Native American girl say when she loses her virginity?

Stop Dad, you're crushing me smokes!

What do you call an angry white elephant that likes crushing donkeys and darker elephants?

Donald Trunk.

What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?

One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!

Why is a lobster similar to a Asian under a steamroller?

They are both crushed-asians

Why did the girl walk past her crush twice?

He didn't believe in love at first sight.

What's a racist photographer's favorite hobby?

Crushing the blacks.

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Asian Jokes More Asian Jokes

How does the Asian chef get to work?

He woks.

Why can't two Asian parents have a Caucasian baby?

Two Wongs don't make a white

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What is the slogan of the Mormon Church?

We don't care how you bring 'em, just Brigham Young."

How many men does it take to open a can of beer?

None. She should have opened it as she brought it to you.

Daddy Jokes More Daddy Jokes

How does an Alabama girl know shes in for a crazy night?

Her daddy says he wants her in bed by ten.

How was your day, Daddy?

Me: Pretty busy, lots of meetings and deadlines. Her: DEAD LIONS! !

Press Jokes More Press Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.

Sprite Jokes More Sprite Jokes

What is a ghost's favorite drink?

Sprite

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How do you pay for things in the Czech Republic?

Cash or Czech Edit: a word

How is an easily-offended person like a broken GPS?

They always take things the wrong way.

12 Year Old Jokes More 12 Year Old Jokes

What is a better name for cows?

Lawn mooers! My 12 year old sister made this up... She out dad joked me..and I'm a dad!

How do you stop hearing jokes written for 12 year olds?

Unsubscribe from r/jokes!

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why do girls like nice guys?

Cause nice guys always finish last.

Why do some girls walk in threes?

They can't even.