Crush Jokes

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What is it called when your crush has a crush on you too?

Imagination.

What does a 16 year old girl say in West Virginia?

Get off me daddy, you're crushing my smokes

What is that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Imagination.

What does a girl from Arkansas say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me paw, you're crushing my smokes."

What do you call a phallic music scale, crushed under a piano?

D-flat

What do a Chinese tourist who got run over by a bus and a lobster have in common?

They're both crushed-asians

What does a 12 year old redneck girl say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me dad, you're crushing my smokes!

What did the farmer's daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad you're crushing my smokes! Or "That'll do pig, that'll do." I have heard it both ways.

Why did Dr.Pepper blush?

He received a Sunkist from his Crush

What did the farmers daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad your crushing my smokes!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Coffee Mug

What's that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Oh yeah. Imagination.

What did the redneck say when she lost her virginity?

GET OFF ME DAD, you're crushing my cigarettes!

What did the Alabama woman say when she lost her virginity?

Dad you're crushing my cigarettes.

What do u say?

SON: I WILL CRUSH MY ENEMIES ME: *nervous laughter* No, the other thing SON: Oh. Thank you

Why are you crying?

me: You just crushed all the Oreo's in my fanny pack

What's the first thing a hillbilly says after losing her virginity?

Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes.

Why did the two boa constrictors get married ?

Because they had a crush on each other !sna

How do you get over a crush you've had since high school?

Leave the dungeon door unlocked.

What do you call a soda in love?

A Crush

What does a girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity?

Careful, dad, or you'll crush my smokes."

How is everything?

ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt

What does a 14 year-old Native American girl say when she loses her virginity?

Stop Dad, you're crushing me smokes!

What do you call an angry white elephant that likes crushing donkeys and darker elephants?

Donald Trunk.

What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?

One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!

Why is a lobster similar to a Asian under a steamroller?

They are both crushed-asians

Why did the girl walk past her crush twice?

He didn't believe in love at first sight.

What's a racist photographer's favorite hobby?

Crushing the blacks.

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Steamroller Jokes More Steamroller Jokes

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?

Curses! Foil again!

Why did the farmer run through his fields with a steamroller?

Because he wanted mashed potatoes!!!!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between between a piano, tuna, and glue?

You can tuna piano, but you cant piano tuna!

How can you tell the difference between a thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Me: Let's not rush things, OK

What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ?

A: Turkey.

Meal Jokes More Meal Jokes

Whats it called when you 69 with someone who is sitting in a wheelchair?

Meals on wheels

How's your meal?

i've dislocated my jaw & swallowed the whole table

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

How do you bring a joke to the front page?

deleted

How long do black women need to bring the garbage out?

About 9 month.

Salt Jokes More Salt Jokes

How did the butcher cure cancer?

With salt.

What does Gandhi not like on the Internet?

Salt

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the softball team?

Because she ran away from the ball!

What's the opposite of running away and getting married?

Anteloping.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do you say when you catch a deer with no eyes?

I have no-eye-deer! (Unless you're a dad, you may need to sound it out)

How many men do you need to defend Paris?

I have no idea. Nobody ever tried.