Crush Jokes

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What is it called when your crush has a crush on you too?

Imagination.

What does a 16 year old girl say in West Virginia?

Get off me daddy, you're crushing my smokes

What is that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Imagination.

What does a girl from Arkansas say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me paw, you're crushing my smokes."

What do you call a phallic music scale, crushed under a piano?

D-flat

What do a Chinese tourist who got run over by a bus and a lobster have in common?

They're both crushed-asians

What does a 12 year old redneck girl say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me dad, you're crushing my smokes!

What did the farmer's daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad you're crushing my smokes! Or "That'll do pig, that'll do." I have heard it both ways.

Why did Dr.Pepper blush?

He received a Sunkist from his Crush

What did the farmers daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad your crushing my smokes!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's that thing called when your crush likes you back?

Oh yeah. Imagination.

What did the redneck say when she lost her virginity?

GET OFF ME DAD, you're crushing my cigarettes!

What did the Alabama woman say when she lost her virginity?

Dad you're crushing my cigarettes.

What do u say?

SON: I WILL CRUSH MY ENEMIES ME: *nervous laughter* No, the other thing SON: Oh. Thank you

Why are you crying?

me: You just crushed all the Oreo's in my fanny pack

What's the first thing a hillbilly says after losing her virginity?

Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes.

Why did the two boa constrictors get married ?

Because they had a crush on each other !sna

How do you get over a crush you've had since high school?

Leave the dungeon door unlocked.

What do you call a soda in love?

A Crush

What does a girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity?

Careful, dad, or you'll crush my smokes."

How is everything?

ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt

What does a 14 year-old Native American girl say when she loses her virginity?

Stop Dad, you're crushing me smokes!

What do you call an angry white elephant that likes crushing donkeys and darker elephants?

Donald Trunk.

What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?

One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!

Why is a lobster similar to a Asian under a steamroller?

They are both crushed-asians

Why did the girl walk past her crush twice?

He didn't believe in love at first sight.

What's a racist photographer's favorite hobby?

Crushing the blacks.

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Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

How do you know statisticians are always serious?

They mean what they say.

What does "IDK" mean?

I keep asking people, but they don't know either.

Steamroller Jokes More Steamroller Jokes

What did the evil tin man say when he was run over by a steamroller?

Curses! Foil again!

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?

Curses! Foil again!

Piano Jokes More Piano Jokes

Whats black and hurts when you get it thrown in your face?

A Piano.

What's the difference between tuna, glue and a piano?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano tuna!

Crush Asian Jokes More Crush Asian Jokes

What do a Chinese tourist who got run over by a bus and a lobster have in common?

They're both crushed-asians

Why is a lobster similar to a Asian under a steamroller?

They are both crushed-asians

Meal Jokes More Meal Jokes

Why is there no point in sending medicine to Athiopia?

Because the instructions usually say: "Take after meals."

Why are math students so skinny?

Because they buy no meals. (Binomials)

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What kind of cigars does Baby Jesus smoke?

Mmmph!) Meek &amp Milds!!!! :0

How do beekeepers keep their bees so chill?

They smoke them out.

M Jokes More M Jokes

How'd family dinner go?

ME: Huge mess to clean. F: It's spotless! M: *sprays luminol* You'd never know they were even here.

Why do you never wanna see an elevator in a horror game?

Cuz you know something's about to go down. Im sorry

12 Year Old Jokes More 12 Year Old Jokes

What do priests and zits have in common?

They bost bust on 12 year Olds faces

Why can't Bernie Sanders win the election?

Because 12 year olds can't vote. Edit: I'm actually somewhat of a Bernie supporter, I'm just joking about how he has a lot of youth backing him.