Why did my friend get a screw in her pizza?

She is allergic to nuts.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I am not sure, I haven't seen them try and I can't do it either.

What is a carpenters dream girl?

What is a carpenters dream girl? Flat as a board, skinny as a nail and easy to screw.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What will it be for you, my friend?

the vendor asks. "Make me one with everything"

Why was the new Mexican sad?

He was out of meth. Why was the old Mexican sad All his friends are dead.

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

What's the difference between a guitarist and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four

Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man?

A pizza can feed a family of 4 (I'm black so I can say this)

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What does a mechanic do for a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

How can you tell that truckers like nuts?

They always have pecans! (Read aloud)