Why did my friend get a screw in her pizza?

She is allergic to nuts.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

How many redditers does it take to change a light bulb?

3. One to screw it in, the next to claim credit and the third to be a bot that reposts.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he and his friends decided to dress up as famous composers for Halloween?

I'll be Bach

Why do saunas remind some people of blonde's?

A: Because they're both steaming and wet when you enter and they don't mind if you bring friends.

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

What is the volume of a pizza of thickness A and radius Z?

PI Z Z A

What do you get when you cross Pizza with a Bike?

A Piecycle.

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What did the pirate with a steering wheel in his pants say when he couldn't remember why it was there?

Arrrh, it's driving me nuts

What did the bolt say to the nut?

Washer? I don't even know 'er!"