Why did my friend get a screw in her pizza?

She is allergic to nuts.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many NorCal kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Hella

How many frat boys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Four. One to change the bulb, three to stand around so he has someone to hi-five after.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

How to Train Your Dragon 2' Me: Friend: Me: to what?

Friend:

Why did my friend throw my computer out the window?

So A Dell could message me and say Hello from the other side.

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

What do you get when you put birthday candles on a pizza?

You can't figure it out I mean, it's a pizz'a cake.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a black man?

A pizza can feed a family of 4 (I'm black so I can say this)

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What's six inches long, has two nuts, and gives women big bellies?

Almond Joy.

What did the psychiatrist say to the crazy naked guy wrapped in cellophane?

Clearly, I can see your nuts.