Why did the girl take a ruler to bed?

She wanted to see how long she slept.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?

Your head hits the ceiling!

Why is a restless man in bed like a lawyer?

Because he lies on one side and then turns around and lies on the other one.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the monkey put a bone in his mouth?

He wanted to smoke a joint!

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?

Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? A: Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing the chickens.

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What's the longest you've stayed in bed?

I usually sleep ON the bed. #DadJoke

How do Australians sleep?

With their heads at the foot of the bed.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why do some girls walk in threes?

They can't even.

What do you call a girl with a unibrow?

Cuban

Ruler Jokes More Ruler Jokes

Why do ruler manufacturers make a big thing about them being shatterproof?

Was there a ruler shattering epidemic that necessitated this

Who is the king of the pencil case?

The Ruler