Why did the vengeful fireman lose his job?

He tried fighting fire with fire.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What device did Jared Fogle use to keep track of his exercise progresswhen he lost over 200 pounds on the Subway diet?

A pedometer

Why do mimes always lose arguments?

They don't have a say in anything!

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why did the man run around his bed?

Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year?

Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

How do you fire a Chinese cook?

Ask him to take wok.

Why was the distracted man fired from his job at the distillery?

Because he couldn't concentrate

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What did the rubber say when he was offered a job as the high school choir teacher?

I can't, I'm not a conductor." Pffffffhehewheheheheheh.

How did the babysitter lose 500 kids and keep her job?

She swallowed

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What do you call a fight between a child molester and an illegal immigrant?

Alien versus Predator.

What do you cal a man with no arms and no legs fighting with his cat?

Claude