Why didn't Jesus play during the Isreal-Palestine soccer game?

He got suspended.

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Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What's your emergency Possum: MY CHILDREN ARE ALL DEAD! Possum 911: You sure they aren't just playing?

Possum: Oh yeah

Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings?

Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard.

Suspend Jokes More Suspend Jokes

Why was Selena Gomez suspended in elementary school?

Because she couldn't keep her hands to herself.

Why did Darth Vader get suspended from the Police?

He was under investigation for excessive use of Force

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How is Jesus different from other carpenters?

Unlike other carpenters, Jesus may actually return one day

What's the difference between Jesus and Sasha Grey?

The look on their face while being nailed.