Suspend Jokes

What do you get if you cross a woman with a whale?

Your research funding suspended and a severe reprimand from the ethics committee.

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Why was Selena Gomez suspended in elementary school?

Because she couldn't keep her hands to herself.

What's the difference between US Politics and WWE?

one is a predetermined charade that takes a tremendous amount of willingness to suspend disbelief the other is pro wrestling.

Why didn't they punish the student who hung himself?

He was already suspended.

Why did Darth Vader get suspended from the Police?

He was under investigation for excessive use of Force

Why didn't Jesus play during the Isreal-Palestine soccer game?

He got suspended.

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Disbelief Jokes More Disbelief Jokes

What's the difference between US Politics and WWE?

one is a predetermined charade that takes a tremendous amount of willingness to suspend disbelief the other is pro wrestling.

What do you get if you cross a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist?

Willing suspension of disbelief.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you call joke told by a duck?

A wise quack.

How do you tell 2 Scotsmen apart?

You lift their kilts, and whichever one of them has a Quarter Pounder is a McDonald!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's the difference between a battery and a women?

The Battery has a positive side.

How many women with PMS does it take to screw-in a light bulb?

Two. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . IT JUST DOES, OKAY?

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Where do esport players go if they get arrested?

Guantanamo ebay

Why was the man arrested at the farmers' market?

He was caught taking a leek.

Force Jokes More Force Jokes

What type of objects do not accelerate, regardless of the force applied?

Letterhead and envelopes. No matter how hard you try, they remain stationery!

Why do you want to be Jedi?

Imagines using 'the force' to steal everyone's cats and building a cat army To keep the peace

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants?

Incase he gets a hole in one

What pair of shoes could the ginger only wear?

The pair with no sole.

Britche Jokes More Britche Jokes

What did the shoes say to the pants?

What up, britches?

What did the suspenders say to the trousers?

What's up, britches?!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How is God just like every other man?

If you're not on your knees, he's not interested.

Why is Santa Claus always a man?

Because no woman will wear same dress year after year for same occasion.