Why didn't the pig have to pay for drinks on the cruise?

A: It was all-oink-lusive.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do you mean I've had enough to drink?

Hold my beer while I fight this lamppost.

What do you call a mathematician who drinks too much?

A functioning alcoholic.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Who pays for the drinks?

The German!

Why didn't the art thief get away?

Because he didn't have to Monet to pay the Guy to make the Van Gogh.

Cruise Jokes More Cruise Jokes

Why did Katie Holmes get rid of her fancy car?

She got tired of all that Cruise control.

What do you call a group of zombies watching The Sixth Sense while on a cruise?

High Seas Dead People

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What do you end up with when your pig smokes pot?

Baked ham.

What did the farmer's daughter say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me dad you're crushing my smokes! Or "That'll do pig, that'll do." I have heard it both ways.