Cruise Jokes

What is Tom's favorite kind of joyride?

A cruise

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Why don't black people ever go on cruises?

We're not falling for that one again!

What airline allows you to pee in cruise?

Wizz Air

Why did Katie Holmes get rid of her fancy car?

She got tired of all that Cruise control.

Why didn't the pig have to pay for drinks on the cruise?

A: It was all-oink-lusive.

What do you call a group of zombies watching The Sixth Sense while on a cruise?

High Seas Dead People

Why is it that you never see a black person on a cruise?

They're not falling for that one again..

What do you call a line dancer on a cruise?

A. An Ocean "Liner"

What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday?

Cruising on a clipper.

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Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What's it called when Batman walks out of church?

Christian Bale Hah

Why did Jesus have to walk everywhere?

He drove a Ford.

Good Man Jokes More Good Man Jokes

Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?

Because she never marries the best man.

Why is the bride always sad on her wedding day?

Because she doesn't get to marry the best man.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What's hard and pink?

A pig with a flick knife.

What do you get when you cross a horse with a pig?

Sarah Jessica Porker

Captain Jokes More Captain Jokes

Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

Because the captain was standing on the deck! Aargh

What do you call a boat whose captain has no idea what he's doing and works for free?

The Internship

Cruise Ship Jokes More Cruise Ship Jokes

Why don't black people get on cruise ships?

They're not falling for that again.

Why don't black people go on cruise ships?

They aren't gonna fall for that one again.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What did one flea say to the other after a night out ?

Shall we walk home or take a dog

What is the medical term for owning too many dogs?

A rover-dose

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

Why can't you hear Michelle Pfeiffer use the restroom?

Because her pee is silent.

How do you get a polar bear in the water?

First, you cut a hole in the ice, then you sprinkle some pees around the hole. When the polar bear goes to take a pee, you kick him in the ice hole!

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why do hipsters burn their lips when they drink tea?

Because they drink it before it's cool.

What did the German physicist use to drink his beer?

Ein stein. - From Big Nate, as told by my kid.