Cruise Jokes

What is Tom's favorite kind of joyride?

A cruise

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Why don't black people ever go on cruises?

We're not falling for that one again!

What airline allows you to pee in cruise?

Wizz Air

Why did Katie Holmes get rid of her fancy car?

She got tired of all that Cruise control.

Why didn't the pig have to pay for drinks on the cruise?

A: It was all-oink-lusive.

What do you call a group of zombies watching The Sixth Sense while on a cruise?

High Seas Dead People

Why is it that you never see a black person on a cruise?

They're not falling for that one again..

What do you call a line dancer on a cruise?

A. An Ocean "Liner"

What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday?

Cruising on a clipper.

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What kind of milk does Mitt Romney drink?

Why do Jihadist Muslims drink only instant coffee?

Because they completely hate the French press. (Reposted)

Zombie Jokes More Zombie Jokes

What do you love most in the world?

Me: You & your brother 4yo: Oh Me: What about you 4yo: The fire tree in Plants vs. Zombies Me: Oh

Who are the most intelligent monsters?

Zombies (because, Braiiiiiiins!!!)

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What did the dog say after a hard day at work ?

Today sure was ruff" Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit , thought i'd share it :P

What do you call a Mexican working at Tim Hortons?

a Filipino

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What do you call an investment banker who's always watching you?

A stocker.

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."

Physician Jokes More Physician Jokes

What kind of physician works on a cruise liner?

A dry doc.

Why did a physician go to prison?

His medical license was doctored.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why didn't Hannibal Lecter have any friends as a kid?

He was told not to play with his food.

Why is everyone tired of the king playing video poker on his porcelain throne?

A: Cause they're sick of all his royal flushes.

Good Man Jokes More Good Man Jokes

Why is the bride always sad on her wedding day?

Because she doesn't get to marry the best man.

Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?

Because she never marries the best man.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Where did the dog find her husband?

At the Groomers!

What do you call an asian walking a dog?

A vegetarian.