Why did the pig join the Army?

He heard the food was a mess.

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Join Jokes More Join Jokes

How do you get a Cambodian person to join you?

Just shout "Hey, Khmer!"

Why did the surfer join ISIS?

Because he was totally radical! EDIT: I guess this didn't blow up.

Mess Jokes More Mess Jokes

Why did God give women legs?

Because he saw the mess that snails left behind!

What do funeral home staff do if they mess up transporting a body?

They go back and re-herse.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine...?

I heard that he was fully re-covered.

Why did Bill and Ted join Islam?

Because they heard it was radical!

Army Jokes More Army Jokes

Who's the healthiest member of the Army?

General Wellbeing

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

IN HIS SLEEVIES! Best used with little kids, or followed by maniacal laughter.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

Why won't pigs take up jogging?

They don't like to get that far from the table.

What do you call it when you play tug-of-war with a pig?

Pulled pork.

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

Why is manna from heaven like horse hay?

Both are food from aloft!

What food should you avoid if you don't want to go to court?

Sue-shi! I'll excuse myself.