Why do you keep talking about my weight behind my back?

Husband: Because when I get round to the front I've forgotten what I was going to say

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Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What did the tuba say to the clarinet?

Nothing, instruments don't talk.

What did YOU think I'm talking about?

Weirdos!!

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

What do they always forget to do after filming a season of Game of Thrones?

The last one out is meant to get the Wights

Why did the railroad thief get caught?

He forgot to cover his tracks! im

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

What's the difference between your child and your husband?

At least you can leave your child alone with the babysit

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

How does the Terminator lose weight?

By counting Kylereese.

What did the scale say when it was going to drop a fresh mixtape?

Weight on it.