Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name?

Worst. Spy. Ever.

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What do you call people so good at their jobs, they retire because they did everything?

The mythbusters and ghostbusters.

Why do they have fences around cemetaries?

Because people are dying to get in.

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How do you know if someone's an engineer without asking them?

Don't worry they'll tell you

Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella ?

Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

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Why did the spy steal the laptop?

It had a sticker that said 'intel inside'.

What do you like to do in your free time?

Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know.

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How does James Bond sleep?

Around.

How does the modern-day James Bond prefer his women?

Shaven, not furred

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Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name?

Worst. Spy. Ever.

What is Victoria's Secret?

Her' real name is Victor!