Why did the spy steal the laptop?

It had a sticker that said 'intel inside'.

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Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What did Jonathan Ross say after breaking in to a large kitchen to steal some utensils?

It was worth the whisk

What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?

You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.

Spy Jokes More Spy Jokes

Who is both a knight and a spy?

Sir Veillance

What do you call it when a book spies on people?

A: A peeping tome.

Laptop Jokes More Laptop Jokes

What do you call a laptop that ejaculates metal?

Computer

What happens when you throw a laptop into the ocean?

You have a Dell, rolling in the deep.

Sticker Jokes More Sticker Jokes

Why don't urologists hand out stickers their patients?

Because they are always telling them "You're in trouble"

How's my driving?

sticker on her car. Her phone hasn't stopped ringing since.